My Backstory
I have been a victim. A victim of severe emotional abuse from early childhood until I was 42. I have been a victim of allowing myself to draw injuries to myself that have hurt me more and lasted longer than, if I had experienced that which I was trying to avoid. I have been a victim of my low self esteem and the hopelessness, fears, lack of control in many areas of my life it can produce. I have allowed the victim mentality to shape my personality, my body and interfere with relationships.
I now choose to not be that victim any longer. I am a very spiritual person and I have learned that I contracted on a soul level, to experience physically, all the past karmic baggage I brought along with me into this life so I could learn from it, process and finally, once and for all release it and become the unique person I am, in my full power.
The road has been very hard, with lots of counseling and interpersonal work, spiritual guidance and learning, medication when my gut would allow me to take it, which was rarely because of IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). This has caused me to endure suffering with excruciating pain that easily brought on thoughts of suicide just to stop the pain. There has been personal turmoil, personal losses more than gains, family upheavals that have caused emotional anguish.
What you have read about me on my About Page is all true, but this is the silent truth—the real truth of me and my story. This is the larger part of my life and experiences that have shaped who I am and brought me to a place where I am now grateful to be healed and more conscious.
I still have chronic physical pain in my back and feet that is slowly resolving. It is not known how long this recovery will take, so I have learned to cope with and find ways of dealing with my limitations and restrictions daily. I have learned and am learning more each day that I am a strong person and that I am able to do whatever I choose and deal with whatever comes my way with creativeness, patience, intelligence, humility, courage and support from my family and friends.
These are only some of the gifts I have gained from my journey in consciousness. My life path and the profession that I have been led to, have given me renewed passion, a reason to get up and move, to overcome the pain and be happy and fulfilled. This is so because my true passion is to help the ones who need my help the most, those whose pain and suffering I understand so very well. My mission is to find them and help them and offer my gifts and talents to them for their own healing journey. My truest joy comes from helping them to live happier, healthier, more spiritually awakened lives and to ultimately find the precious gifts in their own suffering and pain.
–Elaine Lockard
